“Wreck the tree and blame the doggie… Fa la la la la la la la laaaa!…”
Photos via >^..^< in a Christmas Tree
...idk what im doing anymore...
probably should be writing right now
they/them
“Wreck the tree and blame the doggie… Fa la la la la la la la laaaa!…”
Photos via >^..^< in a Christmas Tree
hunk: lance and i decorated the christmas tree and by christmas tree we mean the thing that looked closest to a christmas tree, which was the green lion
green lion, with christmas lights around her legs: (happy purring)
on the first day of christmas, dumbledore gave to me
a secret passage under a tree
on the second day of christmas, a house elf gave to me
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the third day of christmas, gryffindor gave to me
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the fourth day of christmas, snape’s pensieve gave to me
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the fifth day of christmas, honeydukes gave to me
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the sixth day of christmas, the order gave to me
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the seventh day of christmas, mum weasley gave to me
seven ginger weasleys
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the eighth day of christmas, ron’s belly gave to me
eight puked up slugs
seven ginger weasleys
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the ninth day of christmas, my ticket gave to me
nine and three quarters
eight puked up slugs
seven ginger weasleys
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the tenth day of christmas, the forest gave to me
ten angry centaurs
nine and three quarters
eight puked up slugs
seven ginger weasleys
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the eleventh day of christmas, your tumblr gave to me
eleven dirty fanfics
ten angry centaurs
nine and three quarters
eight puked up slugs
seven ginger weasleys
six decoy potters
five chocolate frogs!
four marauders
three angsty teens
two mismatched socks
and a secret passage under a tree
on the twelth day of christmas, voldemort gave to me
twelve murdered students
eleven year olds crying
ten umbridge lessons
nine raging howlers
eight voldy pieces
seven ginger…wait
six ginger weasleys
five crying fans!
four dementors
three headed dog
two dead parents
and bellatrix killing dobby!
That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.
It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.
The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.
It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.
The like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.
They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.
They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.
It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.
Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.
last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad ‘are you going to put it up yourself?’ and my dad said ‘dont be disgusting… im going to put it in the living room’
I BEGAN SINGING THIS AS TO THE TUNE OF “LAST CHRISTMAS” AND THEN GOT REALLY CONFUSED.
last christmas we bought a fake christmas tree and the guy behind the counter said to my dad ‘are you going to put it up yourself?’ and my dad said ‘dont be disgusting… im going to put it in the living room’
I BEGAN SINGING THIS AS TO THE TUNE OF “LAST CHRISTMAS” AND THEN GOT REALLY CONFUSED.
i love domestic lesbians i want to be newly married putting up a tiny christmas tree and listening to horrible holiday covers and having my waist held while i put up the star and scream when one of us trips and the lights get unravelled and i want fresh cookies pulled out of the oven in the nick of time and sneaking badly wrapped gifts under the tree and to be watching carol 2015 dir todd haynes on christmas eve curled up on a couch in matching robes and delicate bridal lingerie drinking tea and complaining about cold toes and having my face stroked what the fuck
Yesterday at the foster clinic there was a woman with a litter of tiny, tiny kittens, one of whom was a beautiful orange and white creamsicle. I told her, “I love orange boy cats, they are all so stupid.” and the foster mom said to me, with tears of love in her eyes, face glowing with maternal pride, “He is only 6 days old and I can already tell that he’s going to be so stupid!”
Yesterday at the foster clinic there was a woman with a litter of tiny, tiny kittens, one of whom was a beautiful orange and white creamsicle. I told her, “I love orange boy cats, they are all so stupid.” and the foster mom said to me, with tears of love in her eyes, face glowing with maternal pride, “He is only 6 days old and I can already tell that he’s going to be so stupid!”
I’ve been working on this for months and the truth is I could continue to add to it forever but I want you all to enjoy it with me